I have a tendency to expect far too much of people, businesses, organizations…government…you name it. As a result, I am frequently disappointed and often find myself having to re-evaluate and re-set my boundaries around a given subject – human or otherwise.
In my quest to find the “perfect” job, I have often settled for things I was not wholly inclined to do. Take “Gallery Director” for instance – what I thought might be educational, exciting, and a chance to break into the local art-scene turned out to be sales, sales, sales. Or how about “Writer/Programmer” – while it seemed like the perfect opportunity to learn HTML and to utilize some creative-writing skills (which it was…and did), it also meant sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day and countless hours of grammatical edits. I hate grammar, even if I do know how to spell it.
I took a position with a grocery chain in a role I thought I knew nothing about, because I believed in what they stood for – or rather, what they tell the public they stand for. If you read my last post about “feeding and inspiring the healthy person inside us all” blah, blah, blah, then you know how excited I was about this job. What I have come to find is that, where I actually believe in that statement, want to teach people how to live better, eat better, and generally detoxify their lives, my employer uses that “message” to make a lot of money. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I am naive.
My first frustrations came as the result of learning that I was making considerably less per hour than my co-workers for doing basically the same job. In my mind, one should be paid based on performance – you start out kind of low, you prove that you’re an amazing employee, and you are rewarded. In corporate America, you are hired at the lowest possible cost, worked a ridiculous number of hours, pressured to meet sales-goals and deadlines…then given a 3% “cost-of-living” increase after a year. This equates to about 24 cents in my case…hardly worth sticking around for. When it became apparent that I would not be making a living at this (and after spending a few weeks crying and fussing over it), I resigned myself to the knowledge that my employer is exactly like any other corporate entity – profits over people.
So what is one to do in this situation? I could easily have quit and found another low-paying job for some other corporate entity, but inevitably I would have faced the same frustrations I do now. I could have whined and complained in hopes of finding an ally willing to come to my aid, but whining and complaining are typically regarded as the disease that breeds amongst co-workers and eventually brings down “the whole ship”.
Eventually, my decision came down to one simple idea - I had to adjust my own thinking and re-work my expectations in order to suit the reality of my situation. After all, I still go to work and help people, every day. I still have the opportunity to learn something new from each person I encounter, and I still get to work amongst like-minded individuals with dreams and passions somewhat akin to my own. Those are hard things to come by in any job.
There are, of course, days when I still feel like a complete “sell-out”, but then someone comes to me and asks for help with their child’s diet, or for something that will help regulate their blood-sugar without damaging their liver, and I have the opportunity to offer whatever knowledge I have. When those people return to thank me and to tell me of their success, I am reminded that, on some level, I have fed and inspired them…and that they, in turn, will inspire someone else.
